The Bob & Tom Dictionary

While listening to the show, you may hear something that you're not quite sure what it means. We don't want you to miss the joke or feel left out so we've compiled a list of words, phrases, people, places and things that you may hear about while listening to The BOB&TOM Show. If you hear a phrase or term used on the Bob & Tom Show that needs to be added to the B&T Dictionary, e-mail us at [email protected]!


A
	Ahh… Cookie!	Typically yelled after cookies are mentioned in reference to the Nick Griffin bit about rich celebrities hiring people to swat cookies out of their hands in order to stay thin.
	All By Myself	The Eric Carmen song played whenever discussing Kristi's less than enjoyable life as a single woman
	All Y'all	The discreet way to tell a group of people "f" all of you
	The Analmans	A fictitious couple that attends swingers parties and follows all the rules
	And Cut…	Jim Gaffigan's way of ending a conversation or a situation he doesn't enjoy.
	And Here It Is Now	what Chick says to irritate Tom when he can't find the request he is looking for.
B
	B.O.	The nickname Vice President Joe Biden has given President Obama
	…Because They're Fast	Describing why someone would be afraid of marsupials. In reference to Kevin Pollak's bit about Christopher Walken
	Big Dee	Floyd Tucker's Wife
	Bitter	A group of comedians
	Boys Back in Screen Doors	Matt and Jason, the boys who put together all those great filmstrips for Furglar's Hardware
	Break Off a 'lil Sumphtin' Sumpthin'	Our term for having sex, making love, doin' it, etc…
C
	Camel Toe	The anatomical phenomenon that occurs when a woman wears tight pants, shorts or a bikini bottom. Also the title of one of our most popular songs.
	Captain Dave	Shark hunter and captain of the "Chum Dumpster"
	Can Someone Screen These Calls?	A question Tom often asks after we take a call that takes a very wrong turn.
	Cart	A tape cartridge we used to use before the advent of modern electronic technology. It was similar to an 8-track tape.
	Celebrating Bob's Birthday	Having sex
	Check Local Listings	Our way to differentiate between events in various listening areas around the country.
	Chick's Christmas Story	A story from Chick's childhood about a kitten on Christmas day. He's not allowed to tell it on the air ever again.
	Classy…	Tom's way of pointing out that something is really idiotic or of poor taste.
	Critty	Bob accidentally called Kristi "Critty" one morning and the term instantly took on a dirty connotation. Unfortunately, nobody knows it's exact meaning.
D
	Dennis Parsons	Floyd Tuckers friend and guitar player who works at Mr. Fuel
	Dirty Leg	Tom says this in his creeper old man voice and no one is exactly sure what it means. Just that he wants you to "bring that dirty leg over here."
	Dishman	The guy who owns the company that Donnie Baker works for. He's Randy's boss, and the guy that hired Donnie.
	Dog Fashion	Floyd Tuckers preferred position in his dealings with whores.
	Doog/ Dog Log	A large bowel movement.
	Double Shock Power	Originally from Don King's pre-fight press conference where he used the term to describe Mike Tyson's popularity. Now it's used by Chick to multiply the amount of one of his Shoe-in of the Week Picks.
E
	Easy Jim!	Originally based on a news story about an "Easy Gym," it has become a way to tell someone to settle down, or 'hold on a second'
	Easy Stalone!	After telling his fans to settle down, Steven Seagal often gets mistaken for Sylvester Stalone, which really ticks him off. This is typically followed by a beat-down and throwing of a Chinese Star.
	Ernie Furglar	The store owner and operator of Ernie Furglar
	Eunice Furglar	Ernie's late wife who accidentally suffocated to death after sealing all the doors and windows of her house shut with duct tape (purchased from Furglar's Hardware)
F
	Factory Air	The little open space between a woman's upper thigh that appears when some women wear really tight pants or a bikini bottom.
	Feces Horn	The horn Chick honks whenever feces comes up on the show.
	Fiiiiiiiiiiish	The required group response whenever someone on the show mentions a species of aquatic life.
	FINE!	Tom's method for ending a conversation he doesn't feel merits his attention. (See also "Perfect!").
	Flagranté Dilecto	A sophisticated way of saying two people where having sex.
	Floyd Tucker	An over the road trucker and one of our frequent callers. He enjoys turtles, whores, and telling jokes twice.
	Friend of Hal	Members of the Morning Breath Club are known to be this.
	Friggemall Industries	The parent corporation of The BOB&TOM Show.
G
	Gamblin Money Aint Got No Home	How Chick justifies his gambling problem.
	Get a Book of Names	Referring to the log you just 'gave birth to' in the toilet that is so big, it deserves to be named.
	Glit	Glitter from a stripper's body that happens to find its way onto your clothing. Only important when you get caught with it.
H
	Hail Hit…uh, Good Morning!	Chick's belief that all Germans greet each other this way.
	Having My Car Brought Around	When things in the studio are not to Bob's liking, he will often pick up the phone and claim to be doing this.
	Herm Johnson	An old man who lives in St. Petersburg, FL with his wife Marguerite. Loves to tell his story about his grand daughter and the alligator in the backyard.
	Hi Boys!	The only two words infrequent caller "Delbert Duck" can usually get out before being hung up on.
	Hit the Bricks Ug-a-mug	A quick way to tell the girl you just broke up with to leave the vicinity. Works better on ugly women. Made popular by comedian Brendon Walsh.
	The Hey Howdy	When a dog comes up and sniffs your rear end while in a vulnerable position
	Hoagie Slap	Gunner's terminology for the act of slapping his male member on the forehead of an unsuspecting female. Illegal in most states.
	Hokey the Bear	Cousin of Smokey Bear. He is never to call in to the show… ever!
	Howdie Do	Chick's favorite way to say hello early in the morning because it "energizes him."
	Hundred Footer	A person that is so gay that you can tell from over 100 feet away.
I
	I Get That a Lot	Steven Segal's response after being recognized by people he's arresting.
	I Knew This Was a Scam	Uttered by the infamous "Big Dick Black" in the movie Hardcore. One of the greatest scenes of all time according to both Bob and Tom.
	I'm Not the Droid You're Looking For	Referring to Chick's alleged mind-control ability (from Star Wars).
	If This Is Playing Here, What's Playing in Hell?	Used to describe one's displeasure with the song that's currently playing.
	In Any Event…	A phrase Tom often uses when attempting to switch topics or after his story has been interrupted.
	It's a Long Story	A way for Tom to tell you he doesn't want to explain any further.
	It's Very Complicated	Every story Tom tells about his life has an aspect to it that is too complicated for the rest of us to understand.
J
	Jerkatorium	Any place a man can spend a few minutes alone with his, uh, thoughts.
	Just One Bullet	Tom's solution for dealing with people like lawyers, people who file frivolous lawsuits, phone solicitors, etc…
K
	Kablaam!	Tony's term on "Belly Up" for when everything is about to go to hell.
	Kenny Tarmac	A world traveler, avid flier and frequent caller to the show. Known for his awful flight schedules and being on multiple calls at once.
	Kristi's Neighbor Mike	Kristi's next-door neighbor that looks exactly like Clint Eastwood.
L
	Ladder Song	A song so bad that you would climb down the ladder while working on the roof to change the radio station
	Let's Do It!	How Dr. Phil starts every one of his phone calls to us
	Lick lick lick lick	Used to not so subtly imply that someone is a lesbian.
	Long Time Listener, First Time Caller	The way all of the callers greet Mr. Obvious on his show. Unless of course it's their second time calling.
	Longest Night of His Life	Morgan Freeman describes most of Andy Dufrense's nights in Shawshank prison this way due to constant run-ins with the bull queers there.
	Look at the Time	When the conversation gets out of control, this is Kristi's way of saying "we'd better go to commercial."
	"Looks Like We Made It…"	The Barry Manilow song played to illustrate how a comedian or other guest has gone nowhere in life.
M
	Mahoggers	The suction tubes used to send canisters back and forth to the drive-thru tellers.
	Meat Lovers	Used whenever we can't understand what someone is saying. In reference to a bit in which an incoherent Ozzy Osbourne tries to order a pizza, and the guy on the other end knows he wants a Meat Lover's pizza.
	Mee-Mee-Mee-Mee	This is the sound men hear when women speak… especially Kristi.
	Mike	Kenny Tarmac's ill-fated underling. Often on the other line with Kenny when he calls.
	Mitchell	Donnie Baker's nosey neighbor.
	Mommy Parts	A much gentler and radio friendly way to mention our favorite parts of the female anatomy.
	Mondore	The most frequently used last name for characters in our bits.
	Mr. Breath and Mr. Head	Chick and Tom's pet names for one another. Both Breath and Head have the same first name… Dick.
	Mulch Madness	A promotion put on every spring at Furglar's Hardware.
	Munch	A group of lesbians
N
	Nasty Stuff	Chick's favorite term for a woman's "special place." Made famous in a song by the same title.
	Nice Presentation	Commenting on the appearance of a woman's large heaving breasts.
	Northwest Baby Passage	The name Bob has given for the lower part of the female anatomy .
O
	On Account of My Cholesterol	The reason Floyd Tucker can't do ANYTHING the way he used to. Doctor's orders.
	On My Mother's Birthday	Tony Soprano hates it when someone pisses him off on his mother's birthday… which seems to be almost every day.
	On the Beach	Radio-speak for being out of work. (Not uncommon in our business)
	Owe Bob $50	For some reason, anybody we have on the show that makes a substantial amount of money seems to owe Bob cash.
P
	Paa-paw	The name given to Tom whenever he makes obscure references that haven't been relevant since the 60's.
	Perfect!	See "Fine!"
	Pork Pistols	Donnie Baker's current band.
	The Practice	A term Chick uses for excessive masturbation to make it seem more acceptable
	Pretty Good	James Gandolfini's most coming phrase to describe himself or the candy he's currently eating on the sports program "Belly Up."
R
	Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit	This must be said at the very beginning of the first show of every month in order to keep the evil spirits away.
	Radio Pussies	Captain Dave's pet names for the gang
	Randy	Donnie's direct supervisor, and frequent butt of his jokes. Can often be heard telling Donnie to "Get off the phone."
	Record That For My Car Alarm	Tom's description of the annoying sound a group of women talking.
	Renee	The producer of "Belly Up" who comes up with all the great ideas to improve the show… most of which Tony hates.
	Redskins Room	The room in Chick's house that contains all of his Redskins memorabilia.
	Rick	Not much is known about this frequent caller other than he likes to use the term 'little bit'
	Road Mung	Whatever happens on the road or while performing on the road stays there.
S
	Scallions	The phrase Larry King's often uses to express excitement
	Scoreboard	What Chick tells his opponents when his Shoe-In of the Week record is better than theirs.
	Scotty Winkler	Donnie's best friend and guitar player of the Pork Pistols. Donnie claims he's a bad ass.
	Shadoobie	It must be used after any word that rhymes with shattered. This is in reference to the Rolling Stones song Shattered in which they sing "Shadoobie, shattered, shattered…"
	Shoe-In of the Week	Chick's yearly NFL Pick 'em in which he bets against the spread. In recent years he's been challenged by a Rooster, a Donkey and Grandmothers. It is misspelled on purpose, in honor of his unnatural love of athletic shoes.
	Shut Up Randy	Phrase often used by Donnie Baker to tell his boss to leave him alone.
	Snooze Job	An intimate activity taking place in the morning when you only have 8 minutes to complete the deed.
	...So What?	Chick's question after reading a story about an attempt at a pointless world record
	Sodomy Bell	The bell Chick hits whenever sodomy is mentioned or implied
	Something Better Get Touched	A phrase used by Chick to imply that something is way too expensive, and that the only way the price makes sense is if there is an 'added bonus.'
	Steven Segal!	Must be yelled whenever the action star is in the news or comes up in conversation.
	Strange	When you get a little "Nasty Stuff" from an stranger while on the road.
	Suuuuuuuuuck!	Phrase used to show displeasure at someone or something. Bob typically uses this to describe Mondays.
T
	T'aint	Also known as the perineum, it's the area between the privates and the behind. Used because it t'aint p—y and it t'aint ass.
	Tang Alarm	Goes off in Bill Clinton's house whenever hot women or sex are in the news
	That's Not Enough!	Chick's reasoning when choosing to go with the favorite when betting against the point spread.
	There-You-Go	Made famous by Marge, this is a bold statement of the blatantly obvious
	This is You and Me Later	The act of drawing a dirty picture on a napkin and showing it to your date… or a total stranger.
	This Reporter	The reporter who wrote the story that Chick ripped out of the newspaper
	Tobeck	Kenny Tarmac's Boss
	True Testament to the Human Spirit	Used in mockery of the host of "Guinness Prime Time," Chick uses this phrase to describe the feats of those bored enough to break worthless world records
W
	Walk Us Through…	What Chick says when he wants Tom to explain a simple concept down to its most basic components
	Want to Buy a Boat?	A question Donnie Baker often asks our other guests. He's been trying to sell his boat for years and has yet to have anyone show any interest.
	We Just Landed…	Catchphrase of Ken Tarmac, a frequent caller and traveling salesman who talks way too loud on his cell phone at the airport
	We're On Your Side	Said by Chick McGee after the mention of any local television news station.
	Weekend Guys	The mysterious folks who seem to always lose items and rearrange Tom's area over the course of a weekend
	What Do Your Friends Call You?	Sarcastically asked by Chick whenever a caller gives the abbreviated version of their first name (i.e. Jim, Mike, Dan etc.)
	Whatever, Queer	Made popular by Daniel Tosh, it's used to dismiss someone who has said something you disagree with
	Whiskey Disk	When you go to do something on your computer and it doesn't work.
	Write 'Em A Check & Tell 'Em To Go Hell	Tom's philosophy on how to get rid of people who continually complain about things he does
Y
	You Ain't No Count	Phrase used by Floyd Tucker to express to someone that he doesn't think they amount to anything.
	You Guys Rock	The standard greeting when calling in to the BOB&TOM Show.
	You Have Had Sex Before, Right?	A question Chick often asks Tom after an odd statement or question
	You Pick Color!	The aggressive way in which some Asian nail salons tell customers to pick a nail polish color. Often said with a stereotypical Asian accent.