When Tom Griswold speaks, sometimes the words don't come to him as quickly as he'd like. But as a professional broadcaster, he knows he still has to paint a picture using any part of the English language he can muster up. Occasionally this process works like a charm and nobody notices… but then again, sometimes it doesn't. Listed below are some of Tommy G's more memorable phrases, along with their English translations.
|
When Tom Says |
He Means… |
|
A |
|
|
Adult Dancing Bar |
Strip Club |
|
Aggressively Naked |
Indecent Exposure |
|
Air Donut |
Innertube |
|
Alligator Guy |
Crocodile Hunter |
|
Amateur Singing Show |
"American Idol" |
|
Arrow Deal |
Computer Cursor |
|
Ass Surgeon |
Proctologist |
|
B |
|
|
Bath Gel and Squirter Thing |
Liquid Soap |
|
Bathrobe with a Special Belt |
Karate Gi |
|
Batman Thing Projected on the Sky |
Bat Signal |
|
Beautiful Marionettes |
Puppets |
|
Big Pile of Hay |
Hay Stack |
|
The Big Pipe |
High Speed Internet Connection |
|
Big Donut Thing You Pull With a Boat |
Tube |
|
Billboard |
Movie Poster |
|
Blow-up Fun Hut |
Bounce House |
|
Blue Thing on My Bed |
Comforter |
|
Body Holder |
Casket |
|
Book With a Lot of Stuff You Want to Buy |
Catalog |
|
Box With a Turntable in It |
Record Player |
|
Bracelet on Your Neck |
Necklace |
|
Breath machine |
Breathalyzer |
|
Built in TV Thing |
DVD Player in a Car |
|
C |
|
|
Camera You Can E-Mail |
Digital Camera |
|
Car Store |
Car Dealership |
|
Casserole Thing |
Pot Pie |
|
Chihuahua Cut |
Brazilian Wax |
|
D |
|
|
Dance Hall |
Night Club |
|
Dance Where Hands Tell a Story |
Hula Dance |
|
Davenport |
Sofa |
|
DNA Show |
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" |
|
Doctor Suit |
Lab Coat |
|
Dodgem Cars |
Bumper Cars |
|
Dope Man |
Drug Dealer |
|
Driver of a Plane |
Pilot |
|
Dr. Evil Movies |
Austin Powers |
|
E |
|
|
E-mail Thing |
Computer |
|
Earpods |
Earbuds |
|
Ear Thing |
Bluetooth |
|
Electronic Switcher Things |
Remote Control |
|
F |
|
|
Fake Beer |
Non-Alcoholic Beer |
|
Fart Bag |
Whoopee Cushion |
|
Floating Raft Where You Gamble |
Riverboat Gambling |
|
Filler-up Gizmo |
Gas Tank |
|
Flame Boy |
The Human Torch |
|
Flip-Flop Gizmo |
Blinds |
|
Flip-Socks |
Water Socks |
|
Flying Bucket |
Cherry Picker |
|
Flying on the Thing With the Hook |
Aircraft Carrier |
|
Foam Thing |
Cooler |
|
Football Slacks |
Football Pants |
|
Fourth Base |
Home Plate |
|
Frisbee Kids |
Boomerang Kids |
|
Fun Hut |
Bounce House |
|
G |
|
|
Guitar Mechanic |
Guitar Teck |
|
H |
|
|
Hair Bag |
Hair Net |
|
Hair Sauce |
Hair Gel |
|
Hair Sprinkles |
Highlights |
|
Hair Therapist |
Hair Stylist |
|
Haunted Thing |
Haunted House |
|
Head Thing |
Letter Head |
|
High Boots |
Go-Go Boots |
|
High-Test Feul |
Premium Feul |
|
Hooma Hooma |
Abracadabra |
|
Hose With the Flippers On It |
Fountain Drink |
|
Hulk Hogan |
The Incredible Huylk |
|
I |
|
|
Internet Thing |
Web Browser |
|
iPod Scramble |
iPod Shuffle |
|
J |
|
|
Jousting Stick |
Lance |
|
L |
|
|
Lawnmower Thing |
Segway Scooter |
|
Lion Tamer Guys |
Siegfried & Roy |
|
Long Handled Beer |
Long Neck Bottles |
|
Long Things with Legs |
Pantyhose |
|
Looftwoofa |
Loofah |
|
Lump at the Bottom of a Blimp |
Gondola |
|
M |
|
|
Meat, It's What's For Dinner |
Beef, It's What's for Dinner |
|
Meatball |
Meat Loaf (the singer) |
|
Measuring Stick |
Yard Stick |
|
Medical People |
Doctors |
|
Monkery |
Monastery |
|
Movie Where People Turn Into Monsters |
"Men in Black II" |
|
Mrs. Queen |
Your Highness |
|
N |
|
|
Ninja Frisbee |
Throwing Stars |
|
Normal Daytime Stuff |
Business Hours |
|
Nun Suit |
Habbit |
|
P |
|
|
Pants That Tie at the Top |
Draw String Pants |
|
Parachute Thing with a Boat |
Parasail |
|
Pasta Cheese Food |
Spaghetti |
|
Pass Around |
Handout |
|
Pennies |
Jerseys |
|
Perch That Sports Guys Braodcast From |
Broadcast Booth |
|
Photo Taken When You're Arrested |
Mug Shot |
|
Physical Doctor Type Person |
Proctologist |
|
Pilot of the Ship |
Captain |
|
Place Where They Stack Cars |
Parking Garage |
|
Pool Pants |
Swimming Suit |
|
Pouch of Goo |
Placenta |
|
Prickers |
Thorns |
|
Professional Hair Cut Person |
Barber |
|
Pulling Stunts |
Adultery |
|
Push Basket |
Shopping Cart |
|
R |
|
|
Really Long Carpet Remnants |
Rug |
|
Rehearsing For a Game |
Football Practice |
|
Roving Lawnmower Thing |
Segway |
|
Rubber Micheline Man Looking Thing |
Kong Dog Toy |
|
Running Machine |
Treadmill |
|
S |
|
|
Say it Ain't True Roy |
Say it Ain't So, Joe |
|
Sandpaper Stick |
Emery Board |
|
Shaving Sauce |
Shaving Cream |
|
Show Where People Have Their Own Music |
"Peter & the Wolf" |
|
Sit-Down Tricycle |
Big Wheel |
|
Snore Bands |
Breathe-Rite Strips |
|
Sonar |
Ultrasound |
|
Space Fabric |
Polyester |
|
Space Sword |
Light Saber (From "Star Wars") |
|
Specialized Eye Stuff |
Eye Glasses |
|
Spinner Thing |
Centrifuge |
|
Statue With Pants On |
Mannequin |
|
Stick and Telescope Guys |
Surveyors |
|
Stick-inner Thing |
Cell Phone Charger Plug |
|
Sticks on the Front of a House |
Pillars |
|
Stick Thing |
The Club (auto-theft device) |
|
Stint You do Overseas |
Tour of Duty |
|
Stuff That Goes in Your Printer |
Ink |
|
Sunburn Thing |
Tanning Bed |
|
Super Bowl VIP |
Super Bowl MVP |
|
Swimmy Water things |
Water Wings |
|
Swivel Bucket |
Skip Loader |
|
T |
|
|
Tacos As Big As Your Face |
Burritos As Big As Your Head |
|
Talking Machine in the Car |
GPS Navigator |
|
The French Bike Thing |
Tour de France |
|
Thing That Tells You Who's Calling |
Caller ID |
|
Thing That Holds Shows for You |
On-Demand Service |
|
Thingy With the Pads |
Defibrillator |
|
Thing You Rub |
Genie Lamp |
|
Tractor Beam |
Satellite Signal |
|
Train Driver |
Engineer |
|
Trousers |
Football Pants |
|
Truck Bed Pan |
Truck Bed Liner |
|
Truck with a Little Bucker on It |
Cherry Picker |
|
Turferfen |
Turducken |
|
U |
|
|
Underground Cops |
Undercover Cops |
|
Underpants |
Underwear |
|
W |
|
|
Water Clown |
Clown Diver |
|
Water Fluffer |
Jacuzzi |
|
Weird Beard Religion |
Greek Orthodox |